On April 10th, Sally Kohn submitted an article to Huffington Post titled, “Stop Hating Trump Voters.” Ms. Kohn is a former contributor to Fox News and is considered a liberal political commentator. She also serves as a community organizer and CEO of the Movement Vision Lab, which is a grassroots think tank focusing on progressive ideas and positions.
I previously asked Sally to stop shaming and blaming men, “Women have made tremendous gains in the workplace and American society. Although they have far to go, they made advances TEAMING UP with honorable men and women. Please do not forget us!!!” In her latest article, she wrote, “We still have so much further to go as a nation — and as humanity — but look how far we have come.” Sally heard me. She’s smart and compassionate. She listened and does not accept our country being irreversibly divided. Sally Kohn is brilliant.
I have followed Sally for years. I detailed our brief conversation a couple months ago after receiving an email blast announcing her upcoming book, The Opposite of Hate. She had criticized a male actor for referring to his female co-stars as “girls.” I was frustrated with her for “picking on men unfairly.” In a related article, she said, “All of us, and thus our society as a whole — think less of women that we both perpetuate and tolerate patterns of violence and intimidation.”
I certainly did not agree. In fact, rarely do I see evidence in my world that men think less of women. I told Ms. Kohn this and stopped following her work. I’m a small town, Pacific island boy. Maybe I was raised differently from people like Sally who spent their time in eastern cities. I wrote how I grew up to be a man in a confused America. Men opened doors for ladies. We asked them out on dates — and paid. I wasn’t part of the hookup culture of today. We honored women. I felt blessed simply to share a tender kiss on the doorstep. I waited for my partner to give me permission if we were to further engage. This is how I respect women. My male friends believe similarly.
Personally, I consider females superior to me. I’ve explained how I was raised to be a toxic male — if the ship hits an iceberg, men go down, as we’re responsible and expendable. We put the more important creatures — women and children in the lifeboats. So, yes, I’ve pointed out frustration my brothers and I suffer knowing men need not apply any longer. And, yes, we’re angry. I’ve explained the reasons. I don’t understand what happened to progressive America. I detailed how I fought the Good Fight and lost. The people I defended and protected now consider me the enemy.
Sally wrote, “In the wake of the 2016 election, I’ve been in room after room filled with my fellow progressives who say things like, “Those people who voted for Donald Trump are just so Islamophobic and racist and hateful — and I hate them!” I voted for Trump. Actually, I voted for Hillary in 2008. I also served her campaign. I believed she was a better candidate than Obama. Hillary fell to a man who had more charisma. America changed over eight years and I voted against Hillary twice — once for Bernie in the primary, another man who had more charisma, and for Trump in the general election. I’m certainly not Islamophobic. I joined Islam decades ago, although I do not practice regularly. As a life-long athlete, I was immersed in Black culture and have detailed the Power of Love I learned through sport.
Sometimes it’s better to lose a battle and win the war
Similarly to about 70 percent of American voters, I found Hillary to be an unacceptable candidate. As I stated during the election, when facing only difficult choices, sometimes it’s better to lose a battle and win the war. I consider Trump a blessing. Yes, he’s a disgusting personality, but he forces America to have tough conversations and confront our demons. I’ve asked passionate Hillary followers to explain how President Hillary possibly could have been successful. She totally unifies and energizes the Right. Their anti-Clinton drumbeat would have been endless. Today, MSNBC and Rachel Maddow are ascending. Had Hillary won, Fox News would be the undisputed place to be.
The bitter primary ensured the Left would remain divided. With Congress in the hands of Republicans and a divided Democratic party, her term would have been a disaster. The 2018 mid-term elections might have yielded historic victories for conservatives. Now, America is experiencing a Blue Wave. This first woman president likely would have gone down in flames, much like Jimmy Carter. I respect women too greatly to allow this to be their legacy. It wasn’t Hillary’s turn. Her loss was a gift to progressives.
Hillary claims sexism led in part to her defeat. This is a disgusting charge. Certainly there are men in America who voted against her because she is a woman. There were also millions of women — and men — who voted for her solely because she is. The political reality is Hillary controlled her destiny. Had she made peace with Bernie and choose him as her VP, she would have become the 45th president. Gender divisions didn’t defeat her. Her failure to unify the Left led to her downfall. Bernie won the Hearts & Minds of young people. Hillary left those voters in the cold. Selecting Tim Kaine cost Hillary the presidency — not her gender.
Why does the Left Hate on Men?
Males, White Men in particular, are angry. Black men are angry as well, but they’re so far down the food chain nobody hears their cries for help. Ms. Kohn gets us. She wrote, “You’re making them feel like crap.” She asked her readers, “Do you know that saying, ‘I know where I’m not wanted’?” I know I’m not wanted. Men aren’t appreciated today. We know too well the Left simply wants us to go away. Sally correctly tells her readers a lot of Trump supporters consider them to be “hateful, close-minded monsters.” This is accurate. What happened to liberal tolerance and the Big Tent?
Sally criticizes the Left, “You [are] acting like you belong to a smug, elitist clique.” Thank you! She points out those on the Left are “digging in our heels in self-righteousness and giving up on everyone who didn’t agree with us.” I blogged how quickly liberal Democratic women block those who don’t share their opinions. This isn’t a sign of strength. This behavior suggests insecurity and weakness. Progressive women in my life have always roared.
Why is the Right Upset with Feminists?
America represents change. This is our greatest asset. Immigrants fled to the USA from around the world … yes, America loves immigrants, because most of us descend from immigrants. We came for change; our ancestors came to America for a new start. And change, specifically rapid change in core beliefs, leads to massive social tension. Sally cautioned, “So just like you feel justified hating them because they hate you, they feel justified hating you because you hate them. And so we end up on this ugly merry-go-round of hate. Which only stops when one side decides to end it.”
To end hatred, we must understand each other. What is causing conservatives to be so hateful? Elise Solé shared the frustration of a father who challenged Target to be more gender-inclusive. Qasim Rashid, who is an attorney and human rights activist, demonstrated behavior that infuriates those on the Right. Mr. Rashid tweeted:
“Hey @Target I bought my 4-year-old son Spider-Man shoes & now my 2-year-old daughter wants Spider-Man shoes too. But you don’t sell Spider-Man shoes that fit 2-year-old girls. Even when I search for them — boys shoes are the only result. She’s crying now. It’s heartbreaking. Thx.”
Let’s Talk about Female Privilege
Break this down. Rashid’s two-year-old daughter wants shoes similar to her brother. She can’t have them. What does she do? She cries!
The girl cries.
Boys can’t cry. Both my parents were clear; my grandparents were clear; my society was clear. Had I cried about not getting a pair of shoes, all would have said, “Shut it up now! Do you want me to give you something to cry about?” Ms. Kohn said progressives are “the side that supposedly stands for equality and fairness and dignity for all.” My society didn’t promise me “equality.” Liberals and conservatives in my day didn’t believe everyone should have equal outcomes. Most considered this to be socialism. My America did her best to promise “equality of opportunity.” There’s an important distinction between equality and equity.
The father claims it’s heartbreaking.
Mr. Rashid, in my opinion, thinks less of women. As Sally wrote, “All of us, and thus our society as a whole — think less of women that we both perpetuate and tolerate patterns of violence and intimidation.” His daughter cries and he feels he must swoop in to save her. His two-year-old girl is tough. She can handle disappointment. This certainly won’t be the last time she doesn’t get what she wants.
Second, as I pointed out, it’s unlikely Mr. Rashid would find it heartbreaking if his son cried. Not only is this fundamental gender discrimination, he is setting patterns for the lives of both the boy and girl. He would be tough on the boy. He would demand his son “Man Up” and deal with disappointment maturely. He teaches his daughter to be weak.
The girl steals.
Here’s what really makes men angry. Women say they only want equality. Yet what happens in real life? Mr. Rashid reported, “When my daughter saw her brother’s shoes, she scampered over to him and stole them when he wasn’t looking.” This isn’t equality. This is theft. The progressive attorney didn’t lift all boats in the harbor, he raised one at the expense of the other. He teaches his children life is a win/lose scenario. The girl can cry when she loses; the boy must accept disappointment. This leads to toxic male behavior. Men learn to protect and fight in order to survive.
Mr. Rashid added in a follow up tweet, “Update: She took her brothers shoes and I’m just gonna let it fly like this.” What is the message here? It’s OK for a girl to steal. Mr. Rashid will allow it to “fly like this.”
Equal to the opposite sex?
Mr. Rashid wrote, “Even before my daughter was born, it was important to me that I raise her believing she is equal to the opposite sex. That’s driven by my faith as a Muslim and a result of living in a patriarchal society.” I won’t discuss the fact this Muslim father will likely demand his daughter wear hijab in a few years. He won’t place this burden of modesty on his son. HuffPost and the Left ironically ignore the gender discrimination inherent in Islam.
Yet Mr. Rashid isn’t teaching his daughter she is equal. He’s indoctrinating her to believe she is superior. She can take what she wants, when she wants, cry if she is disappointed, and authorities will look the other way, “Let it fly like this.” A woman pulled over by police for allegedly speeding is likely to pull her blouse down a bit, expose some of her delicious boobs, smile charmingly, and hope the officer will let it “fly like this.” A young White male does not enjoy such privilege. He going to be ticketed. A Black male is terrified. He may soon be dead. Men and women are equal? Quite laughable, isn’t it?
The Offended Generation
This incident also portrays the Millennial generation perfectly. Mr. Rashid wanted to buy shoes for his son. The young boy wanted Spiderman shoes — MAN shoes. Target doesn’t offer Spiderwoman shoes. They might carry WonderWoman shoes. Yet families are furious with Target. They whine, complain and accuse the corporation of gender discrimination. Had Mr. Rashid raised two boys, he couldn’t claim gender issues for the two-year-old. Would he argue Target discriminated against his younger son for being Muslim? Each slight in America today is a racist or misogynistic plot.
Ann Feeley-Summerl wrote, “Had a similar problem when potty training my oldest- she only wanted Thomas the Train underwear which they don’t make for girls. Ended up just buying her the boy underwear.”
Sasiah wrote, “Advertising and location are such powerful mediums. I would love it if we could see clothes not be sorted by gender in stores. Same goes for tools too!”
Gender matters. I have wider shoulders than my sisters. My feet are wider as well. We are structurally different. Fashion evolved to fit our basic shapes. The Millennial generation wants gender-neutral products. I needed size 13 shoes about age 15. Nobody cared I couldn’t shop at Target. I had to special order. No store carried dress shirts for my skinny, tall 6’5″ frame and ridiculously long arms. Thus, I grew up wearing Levi jeans, t-shirts and Chucks.
America forced me to accept disappointment and learn I may not always get what I wanted. Yet this great nation offered me the opportunity to believe in myself and try. Millennials, especially on the Left, and their parents don’t teach this. Instead, they learn to cry and blame others.
Heartbreaking, isn’t it? What do you think? Please leave your comments below.